Piranha 3DD: A Movie Review

I just watched a really, really horrible movie: Piranha 3DD.  This movie has to be one of the worst movies I have EVER seen.

We’ll start with the script.  Oh my goodness, it was BAD.  A 10-year-old could’ve written this script, if it wasn’t so foul.  It was made up of ridiculous conversations that would NEVER happen between people with brains. I would go into what this movie is about, but I really feel it wouldn’t be worth the time to explain.

One of the main stars is what made it so horrible: David Koechner.  I’m sure you’ve seen him in other movies, like “Anchorman” and “Waiting…”, in which he is just as bad of an actor.  Personally, I feel as if he shouldn’t be acting at all.  Another star that ruined the movie was David Hasselhoff.  Why (please, SOMEONE tell me!) was he even in this movie??  He even tries to do the slow-motion running thing from Baywatch… Ridiculous.  If the movie had any amount of credibility to begin with, he eliminated it completely.  It’s like, come on, man! You’re getting old… ACCEPT IT!  However, these two weren’t the only ones to ruin the movie; the acting was just plain BAD from everyone involved.

The special effects were horrid as well.  If they looked real while they were floating around in the water, these piranhas might actually have been terrifying.  However, the bad special effects they used to create them just make these fish look silly, fake and completely computerized.  Even laughable.  The blood was okay, but in some parts the blood was a bit too red to look real.

The last thing about this movie that bothered me was its sexual nature.  I am still amazed at the amount of women that were willing to take their clothes off for this film… It’s rather upsetting.

The real problem I see here is this… Why on earth would you spend good money on making a horrible, piece-of-trash film like this?  How could the creators even feel like they had accomplished something when they finished it?

If you are considering seeing this film, I wouldn’t waste your time, even though it won’t take up much of it as the film clocks in at a total of 83 minutes… Not even a full-length feature! I know that the creators made it out to be a horror-comedy, but it really isn’t scary or funny at all, and it isn’t even fun to watch.  I know that you aren’t supposed to take this movie seriously, which I tried to do (seriously, I did!) but I just didn’t enjoy it at all.  Honestly, I really wish I could get that 83 minutes of my life back.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, what do you guys think? Have you seen this film? I really wouldn’t suggest it…

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